you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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