Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
