I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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