Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
