Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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