The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
