So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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