What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
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Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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