I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
