he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
