Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
