You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize