i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How does one acquire holy water?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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