if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
