If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize