I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
