discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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