she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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