I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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