just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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