TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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