dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
