i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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