i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
