I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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