Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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