If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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