So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
