Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize