how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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