Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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