Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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