You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
