even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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