How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
