just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
