question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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