just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
