You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
