I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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