He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
