he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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