Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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