Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just puked most of my soul out..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
