P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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