Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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