Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
