Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
