Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize