my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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