Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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