i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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